Okay, so I've seen a few of you post questions to the blogging world in regards to parenting with some great responses so I thought I'd send out a question of my own.
As you can probably tell from the title, my dear sweet Megan is not a great sleeper. Some nights are good (only up once) other nights it can be more like 3 or 4 times. Although, she is usually good and only eats and is back asleep. Those nights I get like a 4 to 5 hour block of time I feel like I could go all day. It's great. But most times I get a hour or two here and there. It's killer.
And naps are on no kind of schedule either. For a while she was really doing great and we had a good schedule, but now she's totally off and I don't know what's happened or what to do to fix it. Sometimes we get two naps and sometimes just one, and at no particular time.
In short, I'm not sleeping in neither is she. I can tell she's tired a lot of the time because she's grumpy but too overtired to fall asleep. Or am I trying to make her sleep too much? I never rock her to sleep, she always falls asleep on her own (mostly because she can't fall asleep with any one or anything around her, it's too much stimulation for her active little personality). It kills me that, what seems like so many people, have such great sleepers and all they had to do is let them cry it out a few times, or not even that. Well, not me, been there, tried that(and a million other things), like almost every night, nap, etc. What am I doing wrong? Is there some quick trick fix here that I'm missing? Is there some great book out there that I need to read? Is she really hungry at night (because even if I go in and just assure her that I'm there, she's still very persistant). Or do I just need to be patient and look for a lesson to be learned?
As you give advice here, will you please be extremely specific. Don't worry if your answer is forever long. You can email me if you'd like. I really need help here and I feel like I've tried everything. Thanks to you all!
Sweet Dreams!
16 comments:
I don't have children, but I live with two. My sister's kids are the best sleepers ever. She has followed this book, "Heathly Sleep Habits, Happy Child." She swears by it - and I am a witness. And she just wasn't blessed either. All her friends do it and they are all great sleepers too. Try reading that. Sorry. that's all my advice.
Hey Stef! I'm so glad that I found your blog! It's been way too long since I've seen you! Megan is adorable! I'm not sure if you've heard, but I'm expecting a little boy in May! I have been reading up on sleeping babies. I'm reading the book "Baby Wise" right now. I have several friends that just swear by it! It even has a chapter about what to do with older babies who maybe have gotten a "late" start at good sleeping habits. Of course I haven't had a chance to try it on my own kid yet, but I really like everything it's told me thus far! Having a baby that doesn't sleep well is one of my biggest fears! so when you figure out the secret please let me know!
Sarah has hit it right on the head! That book saved us. Call Jeanette for the cliff notes version. :D
Hey Steph this is Kelsi Taylor. I sounds like Megan slept a lot like Jack did for a while. He was an excellent sleeper from like 3 months on and then when he hit 6 months he was up like 2 or 3 times a night again! It was so hard and I was always so frustrated. I was feeding him in the middle of the night too and finally I said this is enough. So I started putting him on a schedule 7:30 wake up and fed 10:00 nap 12:00 lunch 2:00 nap 6:30 dinner 7:00 bath 7:30 bottle and bed. And for naps and bed I would let him cry until he fell asleep and I kept at. It actually took a while for him to really fall asleep on his own. And when he woke up in the middle of the night I would go in there for the first couple of times pick him up and rock him a little bit then put him back in. It was hard at first because you actually sleep worse for a few weeks while he learns that mom is not coming in to feed me. I don''t know if that helps but I would say stick to a schedule and a night time routine and let her cry it out. It might take a long time and she won't be perfect but you can do it!! (sorry this is so long!)
This happened to me a few months ago with my little girl. When we went into the doctors for her six month check up he asked about her sleeping and when I told him he about died when I said I went in and rocked her back to sleep. He told me that I could go in and cover her up and then had to let her just scream it out no matter how long. Amazingly it worked, it just took a couple of days and she was sleeping all night. Now I have her sleeping 10-11 hours a night and if she wakes up I don't do anything about it and she falls right back to sleep. As for the naps I was just really consistent with what times I put her to sleep, I just tried to distract her until it was time to go to sleep. She only takes one nap in the afternoon and it's about 3 hours usually. Sorry it's so long just thought I would tell you what works for me!! Good Luck!
Dean is hilarious. Yes I say go back to the baby bible ...Healthy sleep habits happy baby. You can also ask your pediatrician if you were really concerned if she was eating enough. They can reassure you that at this age babies do not need feedings at night but instead get into a habit of wanting to nurse back to sleep.(As long as she seems to be a good eater) Unfortunately as with all things parenting I think it comes down to consistency. (Have had to learn this lesson over several times. :)So no matter what road you take to get her to sleep better just make sure you are very consistent and I am sure you will get the results you are looking for. And on the bright side,when it's all over I am sure you will be more grateful for a good sleeper than if it had come so easy right. :)
Sorry you are having such a rough time. It will get better! I use to rock Peyton to sleep but after so wonderful advice from Lyssa she goes to sleep on her own now without a fuss. I think the trick is a ROUTINE!! Our routine is almost identical to Kelsi Taylor's. Wake up 7:30/8ish. Breakfast. Nap at 10:30. Lunch at 12:30 Nap at 3ish. Bottle then bed at 8. Kids have to have a schedule I've heard. As far as her waking up in the night... when she use to do that I was given advice to not feed her. I would give her a pacifier instead and walk out. Does she take a pacifier? Have a favorite stuff animal or something? I think that is what saved me was her soother. She now has a stuff animal she uses as a comfort toy. Have you tried feeding her solids right before bed? Some kids are just extra hungry? A doctor I work with suggested to me to feed her and then let her play one hour and then set her in her bed. I guess the hour of play helps the food to settle and she will sleep better? Another piece of advice I received was playing a cd. We have a nursery rhyme cd with the mothers heartbeat in the background. She loves it and it is so relaxing (even Tyler falls asleep to it.) This has helped a ton and we play it every time she goes down so when she hears it she knows it means bedtime. I am no expert and received all my advice from others and now Peyton sleeps from 8-8ish. It makes a world of difference especially when I don't get home until 1am some mornings from work. If you have more specific questions let me know. I'd love to help but I'm no expert.
So my advice isn't much different then what everyone else has said to you so far, but my favorite books by far are...The Baby Whisperer and Baby Wise...I did a little combo of the two books and loved them.
My first advice would be to not feed Megan when she wakes up and starts crying int he middle of the night. She will only continue to wake up and cry, because she will know that you will come in and feed her. You know that she was sleeping through the night without that feeding before, so you know she can do it again! :) It is SOOOOOOO hard to listen to your baby cry themselves to sleep, but it really does work. And you can be confident laying Megan down for a nap if you know you have fed her and played with her and she needs to go down for a nap, but is just crying or not sleeping. Just leave her there and after a few days she will learn that after eating and playing that naptime comes next. I know how hard it is though!!! Trust me, Jackson hasn't always been a perfect sleeper, but if I knew all of his needs were taken care of and he "should" be tired...than i would just lay him down and he learned. I can't remember at what age I stopped giving Jackson a "dream feed", but that is another idea for you. I would lay Jackson down for bed every night at 7:30. Then when I was headed to bed I would sneak in his room and pick him up and feed him. Without ever really waking him up. He would look up at me etc, but he never fully woke up. I LOVED this, because then when he was done, I just layed him back down and he fell right back to sleep. I am only saying this if you are worried about her getting enough to eat.
All I can really say is we can try ANYTHING and EVERYTHING and we can try to keep them on a schedule etc, but really we never know all the right answers, but over time it gets easier. And not so much that we figure them out, but more that they get a little older and they get better habits and are easier to take care of. Just hang in there Stef! It really does get better!!!! Keep us posted! Good luck.
Stef, I was just talking to Marc about you this morning when he said, "hey so did Stef ever place an apron order?" and I said, "What?!" and he said, "umm, yeah she left a message on the phone a few days ago..didn't I tell you?" "umm, no!!! And your dead!" So here's the thing...I don't have your phone number and I would just call, but I am posting this to tell you to call me back. I am a million times SORRY! I am not exactly sure what Marc was thinking, but he is in big trouble!!! I hope that all is well with you. Call me, okay?!
Okay stef...so try not to be mad...i really got your message this last time, but I must have erased it and I still don't have your number. I know, in know....really try to not to hate me. I am SOOOOOO a million times SORRY! Pleas give me one more call and I PROMISE to call you or answer.
(when I got your message this last week we were driiving to California for my grandpa's funeral and we just got back on wednesday...so things were just a little crazy. I really am sorry, but I promise to call you if you will just give me one more call. Or if you don't want to...email me your number at rasfamily@gmail.com Okay?! Thanks!)
Hi Stef! This is Lacee Hahn, well it's Sink now...I randomly found your blog. Wow, it's been forever since I've seen you. I think the last time was at my wedding! Anyway It's great to see your cute little family. I also Love Baby Wise I read it a million times and Braden was a perfect sleeper when I follwed the book. Anyway check out our blog!
Hey-
So i'm very passionate about this topic because I LOVE my sleep. the first few months after having kids is always hard and if the sleeping doesn't improve with time, I get worried and anxious!
But I HIGHLY recommend reading Baby Whisperer. The other book, Baby Wise is very similar but is very strict it seems with a Schedule...but the Whisperer teaches you more of a routine to follow at any time of the day or what works for you.
Like Michelle said, a routine is critical. Babies love routine and consistancy! They thrive on it! So you gotta read that. Like others on here have said, this is my routine with Kate (8 months old)
wake up 7 am and feed milk
9 am- breakfast (fruit & oatmeal mixed)
9:30-10 am-nap (depending on when she's tired..and you can tell )
11:30 or whenever she wakes up- feed milk
1:30- lunch with food
2-2:30 - nap
Feed milk whenever she wakes up
5-5:30 - dinner with food
7 pm feed milk and go to bed.
It's not a set schedule but routine because everyday will be different depending on how tired she is or whatever. You just have to be flexible!
And I totally agree with Michelle. You gotta let her cry it out. She needs to learn to fall asleep on her own. I would be careful with binky's because you don't want them to become dependant on them. I would recommend just placing them in their bed with her favorite blankets or animals, do a bedtime routine and then tell her good night and leave. And then do the same thing everynight, whether she is crying or not!
She'll learn really fast that you won't give her attention or anyhting else so she'll stop trying. And at night, if you know that she's not hungry..and at this age, she really isn't!...then you can always just let her cry it out during the night. She's probably waking up from habit so she'll learn to fall back asleep on her own.
I hope this helps! It really helped with both my girls. And I was going to comment much earlier but I had a lot to say and didn't have time to at that moment. Good luck!!
Stef~
I'm curious if any of these suggestions from everyone worked for you. I miss your blog! I've had the WORST time lately with Micah and sleep! He gets up multiple times a night and he seems to have no schedule, it's driving me crazy! Anyways, let me know if anything is helping you and I'm also going to try some of these suggestions.
Stefanie! Jacque Gunderson here! So, am quite the intense blogger and found you! I just loved talking to you the other day! Yay for the blogging world!
My mother-in-law kept telling me how much she liked you! Skye just thinks you are adorable as well! Let's get together soon! I will call you!
Jacque
www.goodgundy.blogspot.com
Hey Stef! Our blog is going private and I'd love to have you on the list of viewers. Send me your email if you want!
I know it has been mentioned in other comments, but the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" is awesome!!! I would never have thought to do some of the things they say, but they work, and Mike is a great sleeper. Whenever he gets out of his routine I go back to the basics in the book and we can always get it back. Good luck - life with no sleep, or very interrupted sleep, is SOO hard! Hopefully the book can help you!
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